– Under The Table With Her, 2014 –

There is a point on stage sometimes where you look out at the audience and say to yourself, “Why am I doing this?” (Memorably for me: singing to a largely unconvinced art-rock crowd whilst dressed in a potato sack stenciled with nonsensical slogans. And another time almost entirely hidden beneath a giant sombrero; the only part of me visible was my feet, which had stopped working due to stage fright). And the answer, in retrospect, is: for the promise of some money (of which there is rarely much, if any), and for the art. Ah, the art. 2014 is going to be for the art.


Under The Table With Her is the fifth track on Sparks’ 1975 album, Indiscreet. You can listen to it here.


Mark smiled. “Here I’m gossiping about him to you, and then at some point you’ll get him to tell you exactly what he thinks of me.”

“Oh, really,” I said.

“Yes. And I suppose he also meant that, for example, when we leave here tonight, you’ll be going on somewhere, but you’ll never say who else is invited – you’ll just contrive in an elegant fashion to make sure the people you don’t want to be there aren’t…And you’ll do it all without saying a word, or by saying something very oblique – some people will realize they have to fall away, and some people will just know they can come along.”

“Oh, really,” I said, letting the subject drop – I mean, you can’t gossip about yourself.

(extract from Popism by Andy Warhol and Pat Hackett, 1980)